Hick in New York City, Part 10-- "The Deli on the Green"

This looks a lot like The Deli on the Green-- a perfectly charming place to lunch!

How on earth am I supposed to know what all this is? How can I possibly tell anyone what I really want on a sandwich? Too many choices!

Before we go any further in this saga, I must explain that in my small city, we didn't have delis in 1982. I had never seen a deli, and had no idea what a deli was about. I had, of course, heard of delis, but thought it was just a place to go and get a sandwich, much like at the grocery store where you walked up to what was called the Deli Counter and ordered a Cheese and Baloney sandwich on whole wheat. Nothing fancy—you got a slice of baloney, a slice of American cheese, on two slices of whole wheat bread. No big deal. They spread a little mayonnaise on the bread to make it stick together, and that was that. So, when Fred directed me to a deli named The Deli on the Green, I had no idea what I was getting myself into.

Deli on the Green was located about 20 minutes from the well field, in a little city park. It had bright green walls with white trim and bright green and white striped awnings. All the furniture outside was white, so it was a very pretty place. I doubt that I would have missed it on my trek for food the night before, but it was just over the next hill and out of sight. I found a pull-in parking place for the monster car, which was a stroke of unbelievably good fortune and walked into the shop.

Now, remember, I am used to going to the grocery, and ordering a ham sandwich with cheese on whole wheat, and getting it. No fuss, no problem. I went into the deli and was confronted by a menu, hanging on the wall. There was bierwurst, zungenwurst, Lebanon bologna, olive loaf, pickle loaf, pepper loaf, Braunschweiger, bresaola, capicola, chicken breast, chorizo, saucisson, corned beef, chipped beef, shaved beef, sliced beef, cotechino, gelbwurst, baked ham, boiled ham, honey ham, cooked ham, prosciuitto, smoked ham, jagdwurst, krakauer, liverwurst, mortadella, pastrami, praksy, polony, roast pork, finocchinona, pepperoni, sopressata, sulze, turkey breast, smoked turkey breast, veal loaf, garlic bologna, summer sausage, ham with cheese, honey turkey breast, honey peppered ham, etc.

For cheese choices, (and remember I am used to American, cheddar, and Swiss), there was Swiss, aged Swiss, baby Swiss, fontina, havarti, mild cheddar, sharp cheddar, Monterey jack, Monterey jack with hot peppers, Colby cream cheese, provolone, gruyere, Colby jack, mozzarella, mild provolone, aged provolone, etc. Then, for breads…

I was a lost ball in tall weeds. I read the menu through, not having any idea what most of it was, stood in line for a bit, trying to decide, and got to the counter. "Whaddayawant?" asked the guy at the counter.

"Uh," I said, all at sea, "I'd like a ham and Swiss cheese on whole wheat."

The man pursed his lips in impatience, "Ya want smoked ham, honey ham, baked ham, boiled ham, cooked ham, ham and cheese? Which one?"

"What?" I smiled, "No country ham? Just give me honey ham, please." There were just too many choices.

"Ya want baby Swiss, aged Swiss, new Swiss?" His fingers drummed on the cash register impatiently.

"Uh," I said, "Uh, baby Swiss."

"Bread?" he asked.

"Whole wheat," I had an answer, but not good enough for him.

"We ain't got any. Read the menu for Chrissake!" he said, impatient with my stupidity. You and me both, I thought. I'm tired of being stupid.

"Uh," I said, "go ahead and help the next guy, and I'll come back around". So I went to the back of the line to try and figure out breads.

After reading the bread choices, I really wasn't any more educated than when I started, but had picked something that might work. Presently, I got back up to the front of the line.

"Now," he said, "Whaddayawant?"

Proudly, I said, "I'd like honey ham and baby Swiss cheese on a Kaiser roll."

"Mayo?" he asked.

"Yes, please" I answered.

"What kind?" he asked.

"What kind?" I asked, bewildered. Wasn't mayo just mayo?

"Read the menu for Chrissake!" And he tapped on the sign above.

"Ok, help the next person, and I'll come around again," I said, all at sea yet again. Mayo? There are kinds of Mayo?

Finally, I found the mayonnaise section on the menu… There was curry, lemon, sweet, light, mustard, jellied, and herbal mayonnaise. Golly, I thought, if I keep going like this, I'll never get anything to eat. After a few minutes, I got back up to the cash register.

The man gave me an evil look, and, drumming his fingers on the cash register, said, "NOW whaddayawant?"

I looked him in the eye, and said, "I would like honey ham and baby Swiss cheese on a Kaiser roll with sweet mayo."

He cocked his eye at me, and punched buttons on the cash register. "Lettuce?" he asked.

"Yes, please," I said.

"What kind?" he asked.

"I don't care! YOU pick!" And I gave him a look that would stop a clock.

He shrugged his shoulders, and said, "OK." I think he was tired of dealing with me. I know I was tired of dealing with him.

"Make that two," I said. Charlie was probably hungry, too, and I'd better grab food while it was in reach.

"That'll be $18.78," he said. Putting his hand out for the money. $18.78? My Gosh! I thought. At home, you could get six sandwiches for $20, and have change left over… I handed him a twenty dollar bill, and he handed me the change pointing to a large jar that said, "Harold's Sweet Kosher Dill Pickles", on the label, and "TIPS" on the glass. TIP? You've got to be kidding! But I dropped my change in, if only because I may have to come back there for food again. My choices were obviously limited. I got my sandwiches, bought a couple of cokes out of the machine, and made my way back to the well field.

Fred was leaving as I arrived, going home to get some rest, and would return to relieve me at midnight. He said that I was not allowed to stay out there all night, just until he got back, and that Charlie, (who grinned sheepishly), sitting in one of two rickety lawn chairs, would help me. I was not to worry—the friends were gone, the punks had been run off, and everyone knew I was out there. He said the police may stop by to make sure I was OK, but I was not to be afraid. "Don't be scared!" he admonished me, and left.

"Well," I turned to Charlie, "of course I'm not afraid if I have a friend with me. You want a sandwich?" Charlie's eyes perked up. "Here," I said, "I hope you like ham and cheese. You won't believe what I went through to get this!"

We munched companionably together, and Charlie, who finished his sandwich in about 2 minutes, told me about his family as I chewed thoughtfully. I am a slow eater to this day He was married to Stella, he explained. "Danny's secretary?" I asked, and he nodded. Ah, another piece of the puzzle. Stella didn't want me out here at night with her husband. Like I was going to hornswoggle him into a 'quickie' in the well house. In a strange way, it was kind of sweet. She thought he was unbearably good looking, (and Charlie was a nice looking guy), so how could I resist? I'm just Not Up For This, I thought. But Stella doesn't know that.

I nodded as he told me about their two kids, their extended family, their cat, their apartment, and his life. I told him a little about my life in Owensboro, my house, my dog and cats, my family. No real history, just companionable chat. We measured and sampled the wells on time, and chatted amiably, splitting up to measure and sample, until about 7 pm… Then, out of the blue, in the darkness "SCREEEEEEECH!"

Charlie jumped up and looked wild-eyed. "Don't worry, Charlie, it is just an owl," I told him. "Nothing to worry about. Scared me to death the first time I heard it, but it is just an owl."

Charlie chuckled, and sat down with trepidation. "Really, Charlie, it is OK," I said. "It scared me, too, when I first heard it! I thought that someone was being murdered out here! But, once I saw it was just an owl, it was OK. It is a big white owl. It must live up in these trees somewhere."

"I'm supposed to be taking care of you!" Charlie said.

"Well, you are!" I told him. "It is very frightening out here by yourself. It isn't so bad when you have a friend with you."

Just as Charlie was beginning to settle down, a big black car, silently glided up to the well house where we were sitting, and a man with a big hat got out of the passenger side. He gently shut the door of his car, and carefully picked his way over the gravel toward us. I stood, walked to meet him, my hand outstretched, "How do you do, sir," I said. "My name is Marsha Talbot."

He took my hand and shook it, one quick shake. "I'm Tony Cabinerarri," he said. He was a nice looking business man, in his black overcoat and hat. He had a pencil thin mustache, and a cordial, if chilling, smile.

"The pleasure is mine, sir," I said. "I am very sorry that we disturbed your parents last evening. We will be out here for a couple of weeks, measuring and sampling the wells, sir. I hope that we won't bother your parents. We will be very quiet, I assure you."

He looked at the well house, the set-up at the well through the open door, and at me, taking it all in. He reached some kind of internal decision and touched the brim of his hat, "No, I'm sure you won't disturb them. We may stop by, from time to time."

"You are welcome to visit, any time, sir," I said. He nodded, walked back to his car, climbed in, and was silently driven away, never to be seen again-- by me, anyway.

Charlie was sitting next to the well house in his lawn chair, stricken. "Don't worry, Charlie," I told him. "We sort of 'met' last night."

I patted his arm, "Is it time for another measurement? Want me to take Well #3 and the monitoring well up by the bramble?" I asked. He nodded, at a loss for words. We continued measuring and sampling, every hour, becoming more comfortable friends.

About 10 pm, the police came, slowly driving up the lane. I walked down to them, "Gentlemen! Such a pleasure to see you this evening!"

Officer O'Malley smiled, "You look much better tonight!"

"Thanks to your care of me!" I said. "Thank you so very much for checking on us. I have a friend with me this evening. We have another crew coming at midnight, so please don't be alarmed if you don't see me here. I don't think anyone will bother us."

Officer O'Malley chuckled, "They won't. Goodnight."

As they drove away, Charlie asked, "So, we are guarded by both the police and the friends?"

I smiled at him and said, "Yep! Ain't life grand?"

Charlie looked doubtful, and I said, "Whatever you see out there, just accept it, and we'll be all right. No one wants us to cause a ruckus out here, and nothing will harm us. And no matter, what, Charlie—" and I looked him in the eye, "I will not let Stella be a widow-woman. I promise." It is much easier to be brave when you have someone to be brave for.

He laughed, a little sheepish, and then I asked, "Is there ANY place to get some food around here? Besides a deli that costs an arm and a leg? A grocery? A take-out place? Anything?"

"I don't live around here", he said, "I don't know. You'll have to ask Fred."

We sat together in the lawn chairs that threatened to give way, chatting amiably, measuring on the hour, until Fred returned to relieve me.

Next Up: Doesn't everyone in Kentucky live on a horse farm?

Links

Part 7, Alone in the dark

Part 8, 'Twas the luck o' the Irish that saved me!

Part 9, Friends at last



Next Up:

Part 11, Doesn't everyone in Kentucky live on a horsefarm?

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